Tuesday, September 8, 2009


Okay, so it was bound to happen. I'm homesick. I guess it hit me a few days ago and I can't shake it.

Maybe it's because I have had a lack of sleep. I've been lucky to get a good 3 hour stretch at night. Omar has been cutting another tooth and that keeps him up at night. He also gets up bright an early ready to play. Aisha has been waking up for one reason or another. Many times I have been bringing her into the living room and rocking her back to sleep so she doesn't wake her brother with her crying. I sleep in the same room with both kids, so every movement wakes me and them up.

Maybe I'm just tired of waiting to get into our apartment. I told myself when we moved here that it would probably take 2 months to get settled in, and we are on track for that time...but I'm so ready to get settled in! We have been living out of a suitcase now for 3 1/2 months. We have 2 rooms at his parents house that we are staying in, so we have things put in drawers...but it's not the same as having your own place. I keep telling myself it won't be too much longer, but every day is getting longer and longer.

Maybe it's just the kids are difficult right now. Or is it me without patience again? The kids are a handful right now. Boredom, teething, terrible two's, wanting to do it myself, getting into everything, not listening, hitting self and little brother, Mom without patience and no time to herself to regroup, equals alot of difficulty.

Maybe it's because I spent sometime visiting someone in the hospital this week and I realized how much I miss SFH! You gals may think I'm crazy, but I miss the routine of work and the friends I made at work. I know I talk to a bunch of ya on Facebook, but it's not the same as face to face.

Maybe it's because I talked to my family this week and they were all at the cabin having a great time..and we weren't there. I wish the kids were there to play with Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Sarah, Auntie Laura and Auntie Sharee. I wish Yanal had been there to wake up early with Jason to go fishing and catch a bunch of fish. I wish I was there to see everyone and just take a break from everything...!

Time to self is what I need right now. I need time to self to relax and regroup. To clear my thoughts and better my patience. I need to move into our new place to settle in so that we can get organized and fall into a routine of our own. I know it's coming and I know Yanal and I are working hard to make it happen. It just feels like it's out there dangling in front of me and I can't have it yet.

Patience, I need patience at this time.


  1. Dear Beth,
    I can only imagine how overwhelming this is for you. I'm sure there are people there to help with your transition. I'm sure it is hard to be patient when things are in mid air so to speak, knowing where you want things and how you what them to be, to feel like home. I would love to be there to help you and Yanal. I have the hugest confidence in you and Yanal that things will fall into place. The both of you have done it together in all the other place you have called home. Embrace all that is shared with you in everyones life. I call you a modern day frontiers woman. With the high tech communication we have to use we all can share today with each other. You are not alone, though it might seem that way sometimes. You are in my thoughts and heart always.
    Love Auntie Sharee

  2. Thank you Sharee! I really wanted to talk to you the other day when I called to the cabin, but I had to go visit Zeina in the hospital and they were leaving right then. I hope to call you sometime and catch up with everything. thanks again for the loving support, it's always much appresciated! Love you, Beth

  3. I can only imagine how hard it is, at times, to be so far from home. When you get homesick, remember that we are only a phone call away and that we are always there for you no matter how many miles are between us.

    When I think about the move you have made to Jordan, these are some words that come to my mind: sacrafice, courage, strength, love, devotion, and adventure. Im proud of you. Even if you get choked up while you write in your blog and you need this blog to organize your thoughts... you are so unbelievably strong.

    Love you!!!


  4. Thanks for everything Sarah. You are the best! I love you, Beth

  5. When you are sad I am sad, cuz you are my hero!
    Thanks for sharing your emotional journey with us...