Friday, October 23, 2009

Mothering and Nursing...comparisions.

I was thinking the other day about being a stay at home Mom. I was so frustrated because it seemed that I had been running in circles all day. I had prepared 3 meals for the kids, none of which they particularly like, and I hadn't eaten anything all day. I felt as though I had been cleaning and picking up all day, but if you actually looked around my house, you would think it was dirty and messy. I started thinking that I had better change my attitude before it changes me.

I decided to remind myself that this is my job. My job is currently to be a stay at home Mommy and to raise my kids. Sure, I will work outside the home again at some point, but this is what I wanted. I want to stay at home right now. I feel as though this is the most important job in the world and even if I loose my cool once in a while or I feel as though I just run in circles all day, that no one can raise my kids better than me and my husband.

So here I am, frustrated with my own decisions and needing an attitude adjustment. I started to compare my current job, mothering, with my career, nursing. For those that don't know, I am a Registered Nurse. I love being a nurse and I love being a Mommy. Here are some comparisons that I came up with.

6. Some days, who am I kidding, most days as a nurse and as a mother I do not get a lunch break. The morning starts out great and BAM, all hell breaks loose and there is no time for me to sit down to actually eat a solid meal. Most days, I just nibble as I run from task to task.

5. Running from task to task. I have a plan in my mind of what needs to be done today. I start in that direction and then a fire needs to be put out in this direction and then another in that direction. So all day I try to accomplish my list of things that need to be done around the house and with the kids (laundry, cleaning, bills, breakfast, lunch and dinner) and other things take place such as climbing on tables, falling off tables, arguing between brother and sister, spills and messes being made everywhere, kids throwing up, potty trained little girls peeing on her toys all day, and the list goes on. Just as in nursing, start heading to do assessments and pass am meds and then a patient falls on the floor, as another one is calling because of chest pain, and a doctor wants to talk at the desk and the phone is ringing..all in the same minute.

4. Once in a while, we have a great day. A day where there are no fires to distract and everything goes to my morning plan. These days we cherish. These days, as a RN, we find to chit-chat with our co-workers and our patients. These are the days that we remember why we love to be a nurse. When things go smoothly at home, I wonder to myself, what was I so upset about yesterday?! I can do this, it's easy, I love it! I find the time to chit-chat and play with my kids. We read books, color, blow bubbles, go to the park, whatever we desire. It's days like these that remind me why I love being a mother.

3. Some weeks are emotionally, physically and spiritually demanding and exhausting. Running continuously on empty, giving and giving and giving and not feeling that you are getting as much in return is exhausting. Being so exhausted that you want to scream and can't because it's not nice to yell at your kids or at your patients (even if they may deserve it). Being so exhausted that you do yell at them, even though you know better. Knowing that you could do better. Self talk can make or break you in weeks like these. Wishing you could just sleep, but the kids keep you up throughout the night; or, you just got mandated to stay for what was an 8 hour shift and is now a 16 hour shift, again!

2. Not being recognised for the things you do all day. The patient and their family see you only briefly a few times a day. To their perspective you only come in to deliver their meds and teach them a little about their illness. What they don't see is that you have been busy looking up their labs, watching for test results, calling MDs with any and all results that are abnormal, speaking with MDs, PT, OT, ST, RT, PCAs, HUCs, pharmacy, RN management, case managers, spiritual care, dietary, transport by phone or in person about you and all your other patients. You have been in and out of isolation numerous times, stuck in a room doing a 1/2-1 hour dressing change, looking through new orders, verifying old orders, calling MDs on questionable orders, helping out with bedside procedures, spending 2, 3, 4 hours with a patient who is heading south and then transport them to ICU, get an admission and spend an hour with a lengthy database and/or medication list, calling pharmacy, discharging a patient and then another admission or transfer.......and then entering your room calmly and with a smile. As a mother, my husband comes home from work and the house looks picked up for the most part, dinner is just about ready, clothes are in the laundry, kids as clean. He has no idea how chaotic and unorganised our day has been or felt to get to this point! I like him to come home to a nice home, where he can relax. I like everything to be done by the time he gets home so we can have fun as a family. Just as I like for my patients to feel relaxed and unanxious about being in the hospital.

1. Making time. Making time to sit and really listen to a patient. Making time to hold my patients hand. Making time to enjoy giving a bed bath. Making time to really explain the discharge medication list so that the elderly patient understands their home medications that have changed. Making the time to explain the illness and how to help the patient understand how to help themselves. This is what I love about nursing. Making the time to do these things is why I became a nurse, to help others. This is where I change my thinking at home. This week, I am learning how to make the time at home. Making time to take the kids to the park. Making time to play with them. Making time to laugh with them. To tickle them, giggle with them, enjoy their innocence. Making the time to play hide and seek or to just sit near them and watch them together. It is so easy for me to keep going with my list of things I need to do that I need to stop and make the time for them. To not just play with them when I catch up with my list or when Daddy gets home, but to make the time for them during the day as well. They need it as much as I do. This is why I became a Mother and this is why I love being a stay at home Mommy. I love to play with my kids, watch them and learn from them. I am making the time and it's we all needed!

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