Going Home...!

We are planing to go home for a visit! Actually, Inshallah, we are leaving in less than a week!! We will be staying in Minnesota for the month of July!

I have so many emotions about going home and luckily I am so busy with work, the kids, the home and spending time with my Brother-in-law, his wife and kids (they are here visiting from the US for the month), that I have had little time to actually think about it too much. We are starting to put ideas and plans together, and I am starting to get some last minute shopping done. It is becoming reality, which is enhancing my excitement, nervousness, and curiosity. It's an interesting feeling -going home- after being away -so far away- for the past year.

I am excited. Excited to spend time with my family and friends. To talk with them, hang out with them, to have them play with my kids and for my kids to play with them. I am excited to spend time in the Minnesota woods, listen to the birds sing, run in the grass, swim in the lakes, and relax during an afternoon rain storm.

I am looking forward. Looking forward to shopping at Target and Kohl's. To pay good prices for good quality. Here everything is so expensive and it breaks a few days after you get it home - really. I am excited to roam the isles of Target, Wal-mart, Kohl's, Herbergers, Best Buy, geez, I am even excited to see the latest inventory at a Holiday gas station! I am also looking forward to eating Mexican food...oh, how I have missed Mexican Food....Poncho and Lefty's here I come!

I am curious. Curious to see what has become normal to me. I know the greens and blues of the grass, water and sky will be amazing to my eyes as they have adjusted to color schemes of browns and tans. I am curious to see the traffic driving in a single lane, following the rules and cars parking in a organized fashion. I am curious to my reaction to this organization as I have learned to adapt to the crazy driving 'skills' here in Jordan. I am also curious to the sexiness of the USA. I have lived a year without seeing a constant reminder and pressure towards the sexuality and sexiness of the woman. I have enjoyed this and feel more comfortable in my own skin, without the need to compare my skin with the skin of women around me.

I am nervous. Nervous about my emotions. I do not like to be emotional and this year has been very emotional. I have had many ups and downs relating to the move, post-partum depression, adjusting to life with two little ones, starting an unfamiliar job, family arriving and departing, discovering new things, adjusting to new things, and assimilating to a point without losing me, then losing me and rediscovering me. I am nervous that I will lose the emotional ground that is now fairly solid for me again.

A year. Really, it's been a year already. How fast time passes us by. I hope that our trip home doesn't pass too quickly. I hope we will find time to do all the things we want to do, to do those things we miss. I hope we will find the time to see everyone that we want to see, who we need to see. I hope that we find the time to relax and enjoy the time. Enjoy the time together, so that when we are apart, we will have this time to reflect upon and to remember why we call it home.